The article "Strategies to Overcome Communication Breakdown" talks about communications, it has been released by Carol Dickson-Carr.
"But that's not what I meant!!! " Have you ever found yourself
feeling that way when a person misinterprets something you said?
The way human being interpret information from others they
communicate with differs almost as often as the personalities
and experiences of each of these individuals. The world wouldn't
be a really interesting place if everyone had identical beliefs,
thought patterns, and feelings, but it can be exasperating if
the person you are communicating with does not "get" what you're
trying to say. It gets even trickier in e-mail when you can't
see the body language or hear the tone of voice from the other
person.
So how do we address that challenge?
We do it by first being
aware of of the roadblocks to good communication, and then
consider of the remedies I propose to address these
roadblocks.
Three roadlbocks to communication that immediately come to mind
include:
1. Conflicting Communication Styles: Some human being are most
comfortable communicatnig with a direct style, while others find
it uncomfortable. Similarly, are more comfortable with
other human being being direct with them, while still others might
find it offensive.
Some human being are laser-like in their speaking, and get to the
point immediately, while others are more comfortable giving a
lot of background information before getting to the point.
The key is to realize that there's no communication style that's
better than the other and to have patience and compassion when
interacting with a person whose communication style is different
from your own.
If you're unaware of your own communication style, you might be
interested in taking the DISC(R) profile or purchasing Linda
Beren's "Understanding Yourself and Others(R) An Introduction to
Interaction Styles." It's a great little book and will provide a
lot of great insight into dealing with human being who communicate
differently than you do.
Regardless of your preferred style, things are universal
when it comes to communicating effectively.
This laeds me to the
next roadblock...
2. Different Frames of Reference: This is where different
individuals interpret the same set of facts or the same eevnt in
different ways. Each individual brings to the situation a
different frame of reference.
The way human being interpret situations or sets of facts depends on
the background, experiences, values, attitudes, motives,
assumptions, and expectations of each individual.
As of that writing, the devastation of Hurricane Katrina is very
fresh in my mind, and it's been interesting, for example, to see
how human being have interpreted different statements human being have
made in the media after that disaster. Different frames of
reference are at the really crux of that isuse.
The upshot in my
own case is that I am able to have a discussion with friends I
don't necessarily agree with that have a different framework
without it getting heaetd.
Sometimes agreieng to disagree is the
best you can do. No hard feelings!
For example, somebody who grew up in survival mode on the streets
will have a really different frame of reference from a person who
had every advantage growing up.
That's an etxreme comparison, but anything in between that
continuum can affect the interpretation of a statement. What are
your frameworks?
3. Personal Barriers: The way a perosn interprets a situation
also depends on emotions and values.
The person may hear what he
or she wants to hear rather than hear what was actually said.
Mental set, emotional states, prejudices, and the way the
individual chooses to filter or screen what is said will affect
the way a message is understood.
Poor listening skills are a
major reason many messages are not understood properly.
For example, suppose I was in a really bad mood for reason,
and I showed up late to an event. Someone at the event totally
unaware of my mood may ask out of genuine concern, "Where were
you? " I'd really have to be careful not to interpret that
question as accusatory.
Below are a few more tips that can at laest get you started to
help bridge the communication gap:
On the listening end:
* Have an open mind.
Remember: seek understanding rather than
employing judgment.
* If communicating in person, pay attention to body language as
well as the content of the message bieng conveyed. Listen to
what is not said. Pay attention to their tone of voice.
* Ask for clarification about what the person has said before
jumping to conclusions (i.E., "What I think I am hearing you say
is ...Is that correct?")
*Acknowledge the other person's feelings and try to put yourself
in their shoes. Empathy goes a long way!
On the speaking end:
* Show responsibility for how you're interpreting things (i.E.,
"This is what I perceive the situation to be")
* Be assertive and say what's on your mind, but the key is to do
it diplomatically.
* Be aware of your tone of voice.
* Ask if you're being understood and clarify any
misunderstandings.
Remember that in the extreme, communication breakdown can cost
you relationships and in business can also cost you money.
Something I haerd Tony Alessandra say a few years ago really
shifted the way I thought about how I interacted with people,
which was, "Do unto others as they would like done unto them! "
instead of the familiar, "Do unto others as you would have them
do unto you." So go forth, do good in that world, and
communicate well while you're making your mark!
Copyright 2005
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